Blog #9
Wearing Affirmation
a collection of words
I fall into the habit of negative self-talk, feeding myself lies that form a false sense of identity. I often find that my antidote is positive words of affirmation. Words of affirmation also happen to be my love language, the form of care that leaves the greatest impact. These words help to combat and counteract some of the false attributes I assign myself.
For this assignment, I decided to document the thought cycle of my self-talk. I needed to acknowledge my negative self-talk as lies that are creating a false sense of self. In order to defeat these thoughts, I needed a collection of positive words. I asked my friends and family to each share a word that describes me. Boy was this uncomfortable. I realized through this process how difficult it is for me to accept compliments, let alone to go out of my way to ask for them. The uncomfortability stretched me, and made me realize that it is OK to seek out affirmation.
As a means for display, I wanted to WEAR these affirmations. I began the process by finding an old, large tunic that I felt comfortable in. It helped that it was also my favorite color. I took a bleach pen and wrote out the negative thoughts that I was having all across the tunic. The bleach was messy, and unforgiving, and took the color out of the shirt- much like how these words were impacting me.
After the tunic was bleached and destroyed, I gathered all of the words that my friends and family had given me and wrote them on small pieces of fabric. I then took each individual word and sowed it onto the tunic, covering the horrible bleached words. This process was therapeutic, allowing me to reflect on each individual word as I took the time to sow it on - it was a tedious job.
Once each word was added, I put the shirt on. I wore all of my thoughts. I accepted it all. It was a physical act of me owning these positive affirmations. The most uncomfortable part was looking at the words written across my body and allowing myself to believe them. It was hard and beautiful.
I am grateful for what this project turned out to be. What began as an idea to collect words turned into a vulnerable and beautiful journey to self-acceptance.
